I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
