so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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