I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
