We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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