a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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