I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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