I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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