I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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