And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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