i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
