grandma shit on top of the toilet
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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