I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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