then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
