Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
