yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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