"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
