Me too!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
