Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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