I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
