She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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