Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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