I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
