i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
