so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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