why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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