I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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