Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
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