I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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