I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
