He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
