i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She announced her abortion via fbk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
