bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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