Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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