the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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