I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
