If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
well you can't waste a boner
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I love you.
Bad choice
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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