grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
