Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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