Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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