We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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