I wish I could punch you in the face.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
