just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
