I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
