Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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