I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
