So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
