I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
