I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
