I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
