The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
